Destination Set
by Follow-ur-Shadow
Summary: Feeling it's long overdue, Jessica arranges a holiday for her Pearson Specter and Litt alumni at a five star resort off the coast of Italy. Each find their own way to relax and unwind but Donna and Harvey struggle to come to terms with where their relationship is at.
1. Chapter 1

**Destination Set**

 **Category:** Angst/Romance

 **Summary:** Feeling it's long overdue, Jessica arranges a holiday for her Pearson Specter and Litt alumni at a five star resort off the coast of Italy. Each find their own way to relax and unwind but Donna and Harvey struggle to come to terms with where their relationship is at.

 **AN:** Based on a prompt idea from bckyx (Jessica, Louis, Mike, Rachel), all spending Christmas Eve, Christmas Day etc. together, possibly somewhere warm like the Bahamas. I chose Italy, sorry in advance for my terrible Italian haha.

* * *

Harvey adjusts on the lounger feeling the warmth of the sun beat down over his chest and he peers above his glasses as Mike returns with their drinks. Not necessarily to acknowledge the approach but to take note of two bikini clad Italian women sashaying behind him.

"Ciao ragazze." Harvey waves as the girls pass and catches Mike's eye-roll, sighing as he takes a beer from the kid. " _What_? You didn't bother learning any of the culture before we came?"

"If by culture you mean how to flirt, then _no_ I didn't." He drops down pointing to where his wife and Donna are sat under the shade, "married remember?" As if sensing him Rachel glances up and he smiles broadly hearing Harvey huff beside him.

"It's called being polite." He shrugs taking a pull from his beer. According to Jessica the whole point of the trip is to relax before breaking in the new year and he glances around the five star resort skimming the ocean and clifftop views. He hasn't take a holiday like this in- well, _ever_. Occasionally he'll travel for business or to meet with international clients but the whole vacation thing is a new foray and he, unlike Mike, isn't attached. "Besides this is supposed to be fun remember?"

Mike smirks. They've been here two days and Harvey wouldn't know the meaning of 'fun' if it bit him in the ass. Jessica had to all but commandeer his phone to stop the continual checking of emails threatening it would go in the pool if he didn't start making the most of the all expenses paid for trip. "You could always join Louis and Sheila in the spa?"

"I could also dress in drag and do the hula." He gives a dissatisfied snort, "doesn't mean I'm going to."

The image conjured in Mike's mind is rather amusing but unfortunately for him they're in the wrong hemisphere. "They don't hula here Mr. Culture. You're thinking of Hawaii."

"Actually I was thinking of the Lion King." Harvey mutters flinching at the quizzical look Mike shoots him. The film was probably the kid's first Disney movie but he's referring to something that's at least a little more sophisticated. "Donna dragged me to a theater production last month."

"How in the hell did she manage that?" His eyebrows lift in surprise but they drop just as quickly. "Oh, wait I forgot... she's Donna."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harvey throws back regretting it as soon as Mike opens his mouth.

"Nothing." He takes a sip of beer washing down the statement, "just that if I asked you to spot me five bucks you'd have to think about it."

He does almost have a point. The Art scene isn't exactly high on his list of spending priorities but it just so happens this time there were extenuating circumstances. "If you must know, I was trying to cheer her up after the whole Kessler thing." He keeps his tone flippant, acting like it wasn't a big deal but Mike sees straight through it.

"Come on, you're not even slightly relieved they broke up?"

Truthfully he is. More than glad, but he doesn't want to dwell too much on the reasons why. At the end of the day, despite is own personal reservations, Thomas seemed like a genuine guy and the last thing he wanted was to see Donna get hurt. "Doesn't matter what I think-" he breathes out a contempt sigh, "she deserves to be happy and Kessler was... a good match."

It's the biggest load of bullshit Mike's heard since he lied his way into becoming a lawyer and he leans back shaking his head, "yeah, cept for the fact he wasn't _you_."

"Watch it." Harvey snaps, frowning as his gaze unintentionally wanders to the women they're discussing. She's currently lathering herself in sunscreen, an attempt to protect her naturally pale skin, and his eyes wash over the elegantly cut out swimsuit making him swallow a hard sip of beer.

Mike ignores the warning tired of always ending up back at the same unresolved point. It's been obvious for years now there's something between his two friends they're just too damn stubborn to admit it. Harvey in particular. "You said it yourself, they were good together. Has to be a reason they ended it."

Harvey winces willing the conversation to be over and done with already. Donna hadn't gone into detail but for the most part it had seemed like an amicable split and so long as she was okay he could care less about the part Kessler played. "Whatever happened it had nothing to do with me."

Mike hikes up an eyebrow. "Sure about that?" He's expecting Harvey's glare and grips his beer warring with how far he should push. Past experience has told him it's a fine line but he takes the risk toeing over the edge. "Look I'm just saying, if you guys can't figure out your shit with other people then maybe there's a reason?" It goes down as well as expected meeting a stoney silence and Mike throws up a hand in surrender, "okay you win... I'm leaving it alone."

"Right." Harvey snorts. The kid has been bringing it up for the last eight years and nothing about his dog and bone personality says he's going to let it go any time soon.

"Prove me wrong then." He challenges, waving his hand from the poolside to the crowded bar, "you're not exactly short of options here." It's a gamble but Mike decides to play the man not the odds. Despite Harvey apparently having no problem flirting in Italian he's barely shown any interest and Mike smirks behind his bottle. "Unless you think Donna would mind?"

"You know what _anyone_ has got to be better company than you right now." He forces himself up from the lounger adjusting his sunglasses, "and Mike... try looking up _vaffanculo_."

The insinuation the term's rude is pretty clear and Mike lifts his hand balling it into a fist. "Stubborn *cough* ass."

Harvey turns back with a glare. "What did you just say?"

"Nothing... hum, allergies."

Mike pats his chest innocently and Harvey doesn't dignify the action with a response, rather strides toward the bar softening his expression as he passes Donna and Rachel. "Ladies."

Rachel gives him a confused half-smile, catching Mike's shrug, and follows his trajectory straight to two women sitting outside the hut. He doesn't waste any time starting a conversation and she catches, 'ciao posso offrirti qualcosa da bere?' which she's pretty sure means 'hi can I buy you a drink?'

Her gaze falls back to Donna witnessing the brief flicker of disappointment in her best friends expression and a knot of frustration winds up at her husband's antics. "You know Mike baited him into doing that?"

Donna purses her lips together fixing the brunette with a smile. "Harvey's a grown man, he can flirt with whoever he wants."

"As long as it's not you, right?" She tests the waters knowing it's complicated but also that it doesn't need to be. If they could just moved passed whatever's holding them back they'd sure save themselves some unnecessary heartache. "So are you going to tell me what really happened with Thomas?"

"I _did_ tell you." Donna insists, suddenly in need of more alcohol and reaching for her pina colada. Just because it wasn't right doesn't make it hurt any less. Thomas is an amazing guy but for the moment at least the timing is just all wrong. "He wanted me to settle down and start thinking about kids... which would've meant leaving the firm and I'm not ready to do that."

Rachel sits up on the lounger, turning and crossing her legs in front of her. "You aren't ready to leave the firm or you aren't ready to leave _Harvey_?"

Donna winces at the question and chooses to avoid it entirely. "I love my job Rach."

It's a clear attempt at avoidance and Rachel bites her lip preparing to broach the hard topics. She has to. Otherwise what kind of a best friend would she be. "So you don't want to have kids or you just don't want them with Thomas?"

There's nothing even remotely simple about the answer and Donna sips out the last of the alcohol in her coconut with a sigh. She thought she wanted children, had always planned on having them but Thomas was perfect and if she can't see a future with him then maybe it's just not on the cards. "I need another drink."

She stands up wrapping a sarong around her swimsuit and feels Rachel's light grasp on her wrist. It makes her stop and glance down finding no judgment in the brunette's expression, only love.

"I just want want you to be happy sweetie."

"I know." Donna feels herself smiling back despite the knot of apprehension balled in her chest. "I am. I _will_ be after another one of these-" she holds up the cocktail giving Rachel's shoulder a squeeze. "Be right back."

She doesn't intent to break the promise but she does.

Instead of returning she catches the eye of an incredibly charming Italian man who despite his young age seems more than happy to lavish her with attention. In New York it would be borderline inappropriate but here it doesn't bother her so much and one drink quickly becomes three, the time dipping into late afternoon as they flirt back and forth in broken English. It's light-hearted fun but when he starts placing his hands on her arm, back and shoulders (anywhere he can really) she get's a sense they're heading into 'that' zone and she excuses herself to go to the bar.

She's not _not_ considering it.

She's single, he's cute... why not engage in a little holiday fling?

"Looks like some one's having a good time."

Harvey's voice startles her and heat crawls across her cheeks as she feels his bare chest brush against her shoulder. She's been trying her best not to notice him across the other side of the open hut but the area isn't all that big and the two women he's been chatting up stand out easily in the crowd. "I could say the same thing..." she teases back, "guess you finally figured out how to relax after all."

He smirks at the comment, eyes drawing to her male counterpart. For the past hour he's been resisting the urge to go over (more so since the guy started getting handsy) but when he caught her heading for another drink he took it as his queue to casually intervene. "Let me guess, Pablo? No Lorenzo?" A guilty look flashes over her face causing his eyes to widen. "Holy shit," he exclaims with amusement, "you don't know do you?"

She wracks her brain trying to remember but draws a blank and quickly tries to gloss over the slip. "That's rich coming from the guy who can't keep a girl's name straight in his head."

"Only yours Debbie." He grins broadly leaning an elbow on the bar, finding he missed the comfortable banter. He's been enjoying himself but the thrill of meeting new people has waned somewhat over the years. The chase isn't as fun or challenging as it used to be and he's ready to start winding things down. "I was thinking about taking a walk along the beach before dinner."

The suggestion surprises her but she keeps her expression coy as she gazes behind him to the two blondes who keep glancing over. "I already told you I'm not interested in a ménage à trois."

"That's good because I wasn't inviting anyone else." He lifts an eyebrow catching the brief flicker of hesitation in her features and like an idiot he suddenly remembers the guy she's been drinking with. "Unless of course your busy with Mr. Valentino model over there."

She looks back at the Italian -who's already chatting with someone else- and is surprised to find she doesn't care in the slightest, flashing Harvey a grin. "Let's go before he realizes."

They slip out from the hut making a stop by the pool to find his polo- no sign of Mike or Rachel which means they've probably headed in, and she quickly reapplies another layer of sunscreen over her freckles. They have at least another another hour or so before the sun goes down and she smiles as Harvey joins her pulling the white shirt over his tanned skin.

She feels a little self conscious about her own color but doesn't let it show. She'd rather be pale than sunburnt and an easy conversation settles between them as they make their way down a narrow winding path of cobble stones. It leads them out to a large cluster of boulder overlooking the ocean. It isn't so much a beach as it is an alcove with gentle waves lapping the shore and Harvey jumps down first, extending his hand to help her navigate down the rocks. The small patch of sand feels spongy under her sandal's and she lets go of his grip to slide them off, sitting down and stretching out her legs. He joins her in a similar position and she smiles breathing in the fresh sea air.

"New York really does feel like a million miles away." She casts her gaze out over the horizon not even sure which direction home is. Although she's taken more trips recently Europe is still a continent of mystery and she leans back sinking onto her elbows."You ever wish you traveled more?"

He considers the question picking up a stick to draw lazy patterns in the crushed shells. He likes learning about different cultures but has never had the burning desire to be immersed in them or to be taken out of his comfort zone. "I hadn't really given it much thought."

She can't say she's all that surprised by the answer. Harvey Specter is a man who likes to be in control and aside from the fact he doesn't take vacation days she's never heard him boast about going anywhere other than the courthouse in Manhattan. "You're not worried you're missing out?"

He shrugs drawing his arms up over his knees. "I have everything I need in New York."

Rachel's words about starting a family come flooding back to her and she adjusts her sarong with a sigh. She thought she was on her way to finding everything too but now she isn't so sure. "I was going to backpacking through Europe before college."

He can imagine it; her being a wide-eyed drama student ready to take on the world but he glimpsed at her school record when he hired her. There was no mention of a break an he tilts his head curiously. "What happened?"

"Danny Howler..." she puffs out a humorless sound, "he broke my heart in about forty different places." She'd been completely and utterly head over heels in love with captain of the debate team and they'd made plans to travel together but when the year ended he'd suddenly changed his mind claiming to be more interested in getting a degree and like an idiot she'd believed him. "He said he wanted to be with someone who had two feet on the ground, not some adventure mad actress. So I stayed, tried to be a different person to make it work. He ended up cheating on me with his business professor and that's when I swore I'd never apologize for being myself again."

The story hits him hard, the insight winding in his chest and opening a window into the women he knows now. He hates that someone hurt her but even worse is the fact Howler wanted to change her and a spark of anger rushes through him. "You want me to track this asshole down," he threatens, not even kidding, "I know people who could make his life miserable."

She laughs touched by the sentiment. "That's sweet. Petty, but sweet. Am I bad person for considering it?"

Only if that makes him a bad person for actually wanting to do it. "Not if you believe in karma."

Her lips curve deciding it wouldn't be worth it but she does find herself musing over Harvey's no doubt promiscuous youth; the young baseball player who set out into the world to become NYC's best closer. "What about you, break-er or break-ee or do I even need to ask?"

He smirks, both of them well aware it wasn't the latter. He was too busy playing the field to ever really settle into a serious relationship but he likes to think he was at least honest about it. "I never lead anyone on, not intentionally."

"Because of your mother." She asks, risking the bold question. His expression hardens for a moment and she isn't really expecting an answer, surprised when he gives one.

"I wanted to work hard, build a career. Get a job earning obscene amounts of money." He isn't lying. Sure he had a fair of trust issues which had compounded most attempts to date but if he thinks back there was never anyone who stood out. No one worth taking the risk for. "I don't have any regrets. Well, unless you count never going pro in baseball."

Her mouth lifts slightly but doesn't quite reach a full smile. She wishes she could say the same. She loves her job and her life in New York but lately, since ending things with Thomas, she's been wondering if she gave up on everything else to easily. "Maybe I should do it. Take off six months and travel the world."

She sounds almost serious and it tugs in a place he'd rather not think about but in spite of the hesitation he can't help it. "That would be a problem."

Logistically he has a point. She can't just pack up and leave but there other options, the firm would just have to be willing to consider them. "I could work remotely, from a cafe in Paris or a gondola in Venice."

"I wasn't talking about your job." He watches the sun start to set on the horizon, the bright yellows and pinks mixing together in the sky. Technology has brought them more flexibility and they probably could work something out but the thought of not seeing her everyday is where he stumbles. "If you left... everything I need wouldn't be in New York anymore."

She frowns at the seriousness not sure whether to be moved or frustrated by the timid admittance. He's spent years saying he needs her but it never extends passed what he wants in the moment and she's tired of always being the one to make sacrifices. "What about what I want Harvey or doesn't that count for anything?"

"Of course it does." He swallows the lump resting in his throat focusing on the waves rolling in. Maybe it was niave to cling onto the notion she'd stick around. He thought- fuck what he thought. It's not like she's the first person in his life to up and leave. "If it's what you want I wouldn't stop you."

There's tension in his voice and she knows the flimsly control is deliberate. He might be saying the right thing but it's veiled and her lips pull tightly in response. "No you'd just make me regret it, like when I started working for Louis."

The blunt accusation stings and he snaps his gaze across to her. "Now who isn't being fair?" Okay, sure... he hadn't initially handled the transition well but the fact he's spent months making up for it should count for something. He put her first when he gave her a promotion, when he chose _her_ over Paula and when she decided it would be a good idea to date one of Louis' clients. He stayed out of because he's goddamn trying and if she can't see that- "I let you be with Thomas."

The comment is thrown left of field and she reacts to the audacity with anger. "I'm sorry, _let_ me?"

He inwardly flinches."That wasn't what I meant." It was taken out of context and he scrubs a hand across his face swearing, " _shit_ , Donna... come on, you know I'm not good at this."

It isn't an excuse and even if it was she's too caught up on the insinuation to let it go. "You said you were fine with it."

"No I said I was _happy_ for you-" he corrects, recalling his words at the time, "there's a difference."

Her jaw goes slack as she stares at him trying to figure out what the hell that means. As usual it's shrouded with ambiguity and she narrows her gaze in warning. "Care to explain it to me then?"

He doesn't look at her. Isn't sure he can and wishes to God he were somewhere else right now but the truth hovers poised on his lips until he finally breathes it out, "it means _yes_ , it bothered me...but I didn't say anything because I didn't want it to become an issue."

The admission blindsides her because for once she hadn't seen it coming. He'd been fine around Thomas, a little out of sorts but that was Harvey. She hadn't expected a parade or marching band, just his honestly, and she doesn't understand where his sudden hesitation is coming from. "It's not like I was dating another Stephen Huntley. Thomas is a good person."

"I know that."

He sounds more defeated than frustrated and she sighs running a hand through her hair. A million miles from New York and they still manage to find themselves standing at the same threshold of awkwardness they keep trying to leave behind. "So you were jealous but that doesn't mean anything, right?"

His voice stalls in his throat wedging between the answer he should give and the one he can't. "What do you want me to say Donna?"

"How about the truth." It seems like an obvious starting point but he instantly tenses and she can see the anger building in his tight jawline.

"The truth?" He snorts not even sure what that means. It's been painted over with the same brush so many times she has no right to sit there and demand it from him now. "You said I was like a brother or a cousin, that you weren't _in_ love with me and then you walked out on me when I couldn't give you more." He snaps the accusation unable to stop his frustration spilling out, "you said you didn't feel anything when you kissed me Donna, so which is it? What 'truth' do you want to hear?"

She flinches at the sharp tone, feeling moisture cloud her gaze but she blinks it back refusing to let the guilt take hold. He wouldn't have accepted anything else. She did what she had to and if he'd really wanted to see what was going on he would have tried looking instead of running away from it. "We _slept_ together Harvey. What do you think that meant?"

"How the hell should I know-" he defends, ego getting ahead of him, "you told me to forget about that night remember? Never mention it again. Weren't those your 'exact' words."

" _Don't_ lawyer me." She catches the wetness on her cheek with a quick swipe and pushes herself up needing the distance between them. He can fight on a technicality if that's what he wants to do but it won't change the fact he wasn't ready and she turns, arguing the reason with bluntness."You're honestly going to sit there and tell me you would have wanted to try and have a relationship?"

He stands to full height not wanting to be disadvantaged but his mouth snaps shut as he faces her heated gaze. She's right. He doesn't regret keeping things platonic. If they hadn't he would have screwed it all up and the irony (that he is anyway) isn't lost on him.

"That's what I thought." She answers for him tired of trying to break through the same impenetrable wall. She's no closer now than the day she opened her door with a tin of whipped cream in her hand and his deflection makes it pretty clear where stands. "You don't want this Harvey, you never have. "

The assumption stabs through him sparking his defenses again. She might _think_ she knows everything but if she really believes that then she has it all completely flipped around. "You're the one who just said you wanted to pack up and leave, so who's running now?"

He regrets it the second it lands between them. He should be fighting for them but she takes the excuse as her answer because she's clambering back up the rocks so fast he doesn't know what to say to stop her and _shit -_ he's Danny Howler.

Another asshole who just broke her heart.

What she doesn't realize is, his is busted wide open as well.


	2. Chapter 2

Mike checks his watch, glancing down the terracotta walkway at the adjoining doors. Jessica is already downstairs making diner arrangements. Rachel is inside changing her dress, Louis and Sheila are getting ready and he hasn't seen Harvey or Donna-

 _Hadn't_.

The redhead shoots out of the elevator at the end of the hall, stalking down towards him without so much as a glance. He can tell she's upset. The stubborn set of her jaw and driven focus clues him in and he takes a step forward with a concerned frown. "Donna, everything okay?" She shakes her head swiping a hand across her steely expression and he can easily guess. Angry and crying go hand-in-hand with one other person around here but he keeps the judgment burried, leaning against the cool brick exterior. "What happened?"

"Harvey god- _damn_ -specter happened!" She feels moisture prick her lashes and digs into her purse looking for her keycard. She doesn't even know why she's so upset. It's not like she was actually expecting anything to happen between them but for a second there she'd felt-

She swallows roughly, _nothing_. An echo of something that doesn't exist and to hell with it, maybe she really will pack up go travelling; leave everything she 'isn't' feeling in the past once and for all.

She drops the card in a fluster and Mike swoops down first collecting it between his fingers. The last time he'd seen them they were at opposite ends of the bar and a flutter of guilt knots in his stomach as he stands up. He'd practically pushed Harvey into flirting with other women, hoping it would knock some sense into the man not give him a reason to act like a bigger jerk. " _Shit,_ Donna what did he do?"

She wipes her eyes breathing in a sharp breath. The last thing she wants to do is cause a scene and _technically_ he hadn't done anything but she can't exactly admit that's the problem. "Nothing, I'm just being dramatic.." she offers the explanation, flinching when the door across from them swings open to reveal Louis dressed up in his suit. She'd completely forgotten Jessica has arranged dinner.

"Sheila's just-"

Louis stops, picking up that something is wrong and Mike mouths 'Harvey' over Donna's shoulder hoping the man will take the subtle hint. He does, sort of... but rather than play things cool his eyes switch from confused to protective as he crosses the small hall.

"Son of a bitch. Donna, what do you need me to do?" He squares his shoulders spurred by the glaze in her eyes. Harvey is like a brother to him but that said the man can be a renowned ass at times and Donna is on of his closest friends. If's she's upset he won't think twice about defending her honor.

"I'm fine Louis." She forces a smile. The resolution is touching, sweet even, but blowing things out of proportion won't help and she brushes his arm gently. "Really, I'm just running a bit late. I'll meet you downstairs."

"You're not fine, you're upset." He points out the obvious glancing between her and Mike waiting for someone to fill him in. In the beginning it wasn't always obvious but he's learnt to read when she's acting and her red puffy cheeks are definitely real.

"It was my fault." She says hurriedly, taking the keycard back from Mike. It's not the full truth but she hopes it's enough to deter their worry and keep them from getting caught up in drama that's over a decade old. "Honestly, let's just go and enjoy a nice meal. Tell Jessica I won't be long."

She swipes the keypad disappearing inside before Louis can argue and he glances at the man beside him with a semi-confused expression. "We should do something." Mike raises an eyebrow and Louis snorts, "come on... _someone_ needs to knock some sense into them."

He isn't surprised by the ballsy response. Louis can be surprisingly observant and even if he wasn't the international space station could probably see the sexual tension that's been building between Harvey and Donna. Unfortunately the two of them are as stubborn as each other. "We knock them any harder I'm worried one of them might lose consciousness."

Louis looks miffed by the suggestion but if there's one thing he knows for sure the whole will they/won't they is a ticking time-bomb and it's either going to erupt with confetti or obliterate everything its path. He doesn't want to be be around if it's going to be the latter.

"I think... I have an Idea." Mike draws it out going over the plan in his head. It's not something he's ever considered before but then again there was never really an opportune moment until now and he spins his wrist catching it against Louis' arm. "Do me a favor? Wait here for Rachel, let her know I've gone down."

"Okay, _but_ -"

"Thanks Louis." He slaps the man on the shoulder. If there's one person who knows Harvey better than Harvey it's Donna but if there's one person who Harvey listens to it's Jessica and maybe she'll be sympathetic to the plight. After all she can't have not seen it or at least that's what drives his determination when he finds her waiting at the reservations area.

"Jessica." He greets, standing a little taller to meet her blanketed smile. "You look... _lovely_." He almost flinches, not because she doesn't. The women always looks immaculate but no matter how friendly they've grown over the years he's always going to be the kid Harvey pulled in without a law degree and a part of him is always going to feel indebted to her.

"Mike." She reads him like an open book not sure if she's more amused or curious by his slight nervousness. "You know how I feel about beating round the bush."

He tugs his tie glancing around just to make sure they're still alone. "It's about Harvey."

A rush of humorous air turns in her mouth, "when is it ever _not_?"

"And Donna-" he adds, watching her features twist into a more thoughtful expression. Truthfully he'd never thought of coming to her with this. He always just assumed Harvey would figure it out eventually but if the man can't do that here, a million miles away from any distractions, Mike's not sure he's ever going to get there. Not without some gentle guidance.

"If you're asking me to get involved in whatever 'that' is-" she warns, pursing her lips with a raised eyebrow, "then the answer is a hard no."

It sounds resolute but Mike exhales slowly trying to appeal to her ego. "He listens to you."

"Harvey Specter doesn't listen to anybody-" she counters folding her arms over her chest, "he just hears himself in other people."

That much is probably true, he thinks, but she has the best known track record for swaying him and that is a fact. "I get this isn't a Hallmark movie. All I'm asking is that if there's a right time, maybe you could just talk to him about it?"

She doesn't give an answer. Instead her eyes draw to the rest of their dinner party arriving sans the two people in question and it puts her on edge, like she's suddenly about to be blindsided but she forces a smile as she moves to usher them into their seating arrangement. It's a large table sat by a floor to ceiling window over looking the ocean and she sits at the head of the table making herself comfortable. Louis leaves a spot for Harvey and Mike does the same for Donna leaving the two seats next to her momentarily vacant.

The redhead arrives first, forcibly cheery and Harvey fifteen minutes later with a quick apology and a much less sunnier deposition. She's definitely starting to get a sense there was a reason why Mike came to her but the conversation moves along civilly urged on by wine and then the arrival of their meals.

Once people start eating there are lapses of silence and she takes the opportunity to check in with the group as a whole. "How's everyone been enjoying themselves?"

Rachel is the first to answer, wiping her mouth with a napkin and smiling at her husband. "We were starting to forget places outside of Seattle existed. This was exactly what we needed."

"Us too-" Louis chimes in, "I wouldn't be surprised if baby number two is on its way after all the extracurricular activities."

Jessica isn't the only person to flinch at the visual but she does smile regardless. "Thank you for that lovely overshare Louis." There's a mummer of amusement from everyone except Harvey and she catches a look from Mike that makes her reach for her glass of wine. Whatever is going on she's hoping they can continue being adults about it but kind words never go astray and she would genuinely like to show her gratitude for everyone's attendance. "I wanted to thank you all again for coming. I know we all lead busy lives and the holidays are a time for family but it's about friendships. So I'd like to prose a toast to the new year and spending it with the people we care about."

Everyone reaches for their drinks but the good intention strikes a nerve with Harvey who mutters into his glass despondently. "Unless they decide to take off. Go traveling or some shit like that."

There's an air of hostility to the comment but Sheila is the first one to gloss over it. "Who's going travelling?"

"Actually Mike and I were thinking of going to Peru." Rachel smiles across the table at the blonde women feeling Mike stiffen beside her. Something is clearly off with Harvey, Donna too -she can sense that much- and she glances at Mike with a raised eyebrow. "Weren't we honey?"

"We were?" He feels a sharp kick in his shin and quickly clears his throat, "yes, we _were_ thinking of doing that.

"Really, you didn't mention it?" Harvey shoots back feeling Donna's gaze burn into him.

"That's right..." she takes a quick sip of wine, "can't go without the Harvey Specter seal of approval."

Rachel inwardly flinches at the annoyance in her best friend's tone and does her best to placate the situation. "We're still only discussing it-

" _Good_..." Harvey snaps, "because I'm sure there are commitments you need to consider."

Mike bristles at the feud wishing he could telepathically tell his wife to let it go. Clearly there are some unresolved issues going on that neither of them are aware of and he tries to temper the awkwardness. "It would just be a holiday."

"Not like you're packing up and moving there." Donna adds, watching Harvey's eyes darken over his plate and she wants to recoil from the conversation. She hates the animosity seething between them but before she can offer anything in the way of an apology he hurls another quip back at her.

"Or why not move there... not like there's any reason to stay, _right_?"

The tension wavers in the air and Jessica clears her throat smiling over at Mike and Rachel. "I think Peru sounds wonderful."

Mike blinks between the three of them sat at the end of the table and mutters under his breath, "wow, totally not weird at all." Louis' head jerks up and he quickly catches himself. "I said, great steak."

The lawyer frowns glancing down at the meal on his plate with a shrug. "Mine's a little dry."

Harvey doesn't think about his response just opens his mouth with a grunt, "no Louis, that's just the company."

The dig hurts and Donna feels heat rush her cheeks as she slides her chair back placing down her napkin. "Excuse me." She stands refusing to look at Harvey, trying to keep the emotion from her expression as she catches Rachel's eye. The concern there is obvious but she shakes her head indicating the brunette shouldn't follow.

Louis isn't as subtle, waiting for Donna to leave before turning to the man sat beside him. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Harvey feels a sigh build in his throat but doesn't concede to letting it slip out. "Louis-"

"No." He states forcefully, shrugging off the attention he's receiving from the table. Screw it. It was already awkward long before he decided to say something and he can't just sit idly by and ignore both of his friends deliberately trying to hurt one and other. "You didn't see her before. She was _upset_ , Harvey. What did you say to her?"

The way he says it makes Harvey feel like an even bigger ass. Although the flash of defeat on Donna's face right before she left did a pretty good job of that anyway. Still, it's his problem to deal with and he doesn't need anyone else butting in with their opinions. "Mind your own goddamn business Louis."

"Stop being a dick and I might."

"What did you just call me?"

"I _said_ -"

"Enough both of you." Jessica holds up her hands firmly, ending the disagreement. She can just about handle a ruined diner but she knows Harvey and won't tolerate a brawl. He needs to cool down and like it or not she's being forced into Mike's insistence regardless of her stance on the matter. "Harvey, a word... outside."

Jessica pushes up from the table and he follows not because she's demanding it but because he needs out of the claustrophobic environment. He can already feel the knot around his throat tightening and he loosens it on the way out, Louis words ringing in his ears.

 _She was upset._

He never meant- or maybe he did. Maybe he had wanted to hurt her but even so he regrets it, feels the guilt wind in his chest as he steps out into the balmy night. It does nothing to help and he crosses the deck flexing his palms against the rail and breathing in the warm air. The pool below is lit up with changing colors, serene compared to the emotions warring inside him and he feels his anger leave in a rush as Jessica steps up next to him. He didn't mean for things to get so out of hand particularity when she went to so much effort bringing them all together. "I'm _sorry_..." he offers, the word sounding foreign on his tongue, "that was-"

"Deplorable behavior, yes it was." She folds her arms surprised by the apology. As long as she's known him he's never willingly conceded to being wrong. Not unless some serious shit was going down and she purses her lips watching his eyes draw to something - _someone_ \- below. The change in his expression is instant the defeat turning into an almost pained look and she leans over the edge catching sight of the redhead taking off her shoes to sit by the edge of the water. They're high up and in no danger of being spotted but she still turns her back to the women focusing on Harvey. "She's going somewhere?"

The question stabs through him. "No, I... we were talking and- maybe." He shakes his head not even sure if that's what the fight was really about but he feels sick just considering the possibility.

He pales slightly and she recognizes the reaction, the tense line of his jaw betraying the abandonment issues he's trying to shove down, but as well as she knows him she also knows he has a way of misconstruing people's actions particularly when they involve some form of distance. "She won't leave you Harvey, not unless you give her a reason to."

Six months in another country sure as hell sounds like she's leaving himbut there's an unspoken warning to the tone alluding to his tendency to be selfish and he breathes out a heavy sigh. It's not about him or at least that's the message Jessica's trying to send. It's about Donna and he watches her lean back, a hand swiping her face in the darkness and he's never felt so at odds with sacrificing a part of himself to make her happy.

"I can't lose her."

It's whispered so quietly she has to strain to hear it and _shit_ , he really is a goddamn idiot. "Why?"

"Because I-" he stops short swallowing roughly, "it's complicated."

"Maybe from over there on your soapbox it is." His gaze snaps towards her and she raises an eyebrow, "what, you expect me to stand here and stroke your ego?"

He frowns with an irritated shrug. "Wouldn't hurt."

In spite of his annoyance she smirks at the comment, softening her expression. "You don't need a pep-talk otherwise I would have sent the pup out here."

The mention of Mike makes him tense and embarrassment heats the back of his neck. There's no way the kid's going to let this on go, not after how he behaved at dinner, but then again he knows Jessica and this isn't their usual foray into difficult subjects. For the most part she usually stays out of his personal life and he narrows his gaze suspiciously. "I get the feeling the _pup_ is biting the hand that feeds it."

"You want my advice or not?" She shoots back trying to keep them on track. This isn't about telling him what to do he can figure out that much on his own. What he needs is someone to state the obvious, what he's too afraid to see even though it's quite literally in front of him. "Take the risk. Leave the play it safe mediocre bullshit to someone else because we both know you win when the stakes are at their highest."

Pretty fucking high rides on his tongue but he swallows the attack because she's right. Donna has and always will be the one thing he's most afraid to lose but if he does nothing it will happen anyway. He knows that from experience.

His fingers loosen over the railing, a knot forming in his throat as he backs away from the edge. "You mind if I cut dinner short? There's something I need to take care of."

Jessica folds her arms, a tight smile accompanying her nod and he exhales pulling on the edge of his sleeves as he crosses the deck, leaving to find his way down to the pool area.

Most of the other guests are either eating or by the bar, leaving the place quiet save for the dull beat carrying across the flickering lights.

He finds Donna in the same place, legs dangling in the water, and shoves his hands in his pockets keeping his voice low. "Mind if I join you?"'

She doesn't startle at the sound having felt his approach but the light tone makes her wary. She'd expected him to stay angry longer, at least sulk for a while and she glances up roaming her eyes over his towering presence. "What about your suit?"

He shrugs. The tiles are dry from the humid heat and he sits down next to her one leg crossed and the other bent. His tie is still loose from earlier and he pulls it all the way open landing his elbow on his knee. "I'm sorry Donna." It's the second time he's used that word in the space of twenty minutes and he clears his throat watching her features remain immune to it.

The apology _does_ surprise her but she keeps the reaction to herself. "That all?"

"Louis said you were upset." He watches her wince and feels like an idiot for trying to use Louis when he can see for himself she's been crying. The guilt slams him harder and swallows roughly at her quick dismissal.

"I told him I was fine."

"Was?"

" _Am_." She corrects wishing he would drop it. They fought. It's not exactly an uncommon occurrence between them but she needs time to figure it out. Space to clear her head before they go in for round two. " _Harvey_ -"

"I'm not." He dives in first upping the stakes as he glances behind them relieved to see the deck to the restaurant void of occupants. Jessica must have gone in to finish dinner and he shifts back to Donna with a serious look etched across his face. "The thought of you leaving scares the shit out of me."

"It was just an idea Harvey." She sits further on her hands, swirling her feet in the water. It's not like she was going to pack up and go tomorrow but even if she was, it's her decision to make not his. "Thomas and I broke up because he wanted to settle down and I love my job, I wouldn't have traded it for that... but I have the right to figure out if I want something else out of life don't I?"

He swallows thickly at the mention of Thomas and the fact she's right. He could have lost her to a different life completely not one where she goes travelling for a few months and he tries to focus on that rather than the tightness building in his throat. "You have every right..." he exhales slowly, ringing his fingers over his knee, "and if it's what you want I'll support you. We'll figure it out. Even if that means I'm calling you at god knows what time of the night." Her eyes find his, hesitantly at first and he doesn't blame her for being skeptical. He's never been big on compromising but this is different, she's different. "So long as you promise you'll come back to me I'll find a way to be okay with it."

She doesn't know what to say and something twinges in her chest making it harder to draw in air. She'll always come back to him because if nothing else they're friends and maybe distance is what she needs to put that into perspective. "You know I will. I think I've proved that by now, haven't I?"

He nods recalling the too many times she's been absent in his life already and if there's going to be another one this time he wants to give her something worth hanging onto, a genuine reason to find her way back. "You asked me for the truth-"

"Harvey, stopShe doesn't want to hear whatever excuse he's going to use to make things right between them. He's already given more than she expected and she forces a small smile onto her lips. "We don't have to do this. You're not going to lose me, you don't need to say anything else."

Usually he would take the out and half of him (mostly his pride) actually considers it but it's not about his ego anymore.

Whether she rejects him or not, high stakes- it all needs to go on the table.

"I see you in that other way Donna..." he pauses, stopping to watch the lights dancing across her face. An attraction has never been the issue. He hit on her the first night they met for Christ's sake and only dialed it back when she asked him to. The problem has always been what they stands to lose by blurring the lines but she asked for the truth and he's going to give it to her. "I try not to let myself because I need you in my life. I'm a better lawyer, _hell_ a better person around you and if I lost you as a friend it wouldn't be half as painful as if I lost you as something else. So when I act a certain way and then say it doesn't mean anything, I want you to know it does. It means everything."

Her eyes widen as she stares at him her hand shaking beneath her thigh as she tries to grapple with what he's saying. Even after the surprising confession he didn't actually say he wanted things to change and she feels her heart lodge in throat, wondering if he's just saying what he thinks she wants to hear. Like when he admitted he loved her. "Why are you telling me this?"

There's an accusing note beneath the tone and he sighs heavily, "because Donna... if you go off searching for something, I think you deserve to know what you already have."

Her brows lift in confusion, "and what's that?"

" _Me._ " He says with finality, trusting that no matter what happens between them they're strong enough to see it through.

She still doesn't fully understand and her lips pull into a thinly veiled line to hide her doubts. "What if I need more than that?"

He can see in her expression she doesn't get it, that the 'more' is what he's putting on the table and it's his own fault. Words never seem to reveal what he means and he uncrosses his leg nearing closer to the edge - in more ways than one. "Then take it."

The water changes to a purpley pink color and he's not sure if she's blushing or it's just the hues reflecting but he leans in inching towards her mouth. He lets it be her decision because he's trying to show it's not about him. His needs are already out there in the open and he waits, heart slamming in his chest when she finally skates her lips across his own testing the kiss. She feels her way and a groan builds in his throat at the slow tentative caress. It's akin to a form of torture and he risks lifting his hand to encourage her deeper.

She smiles against him, more confident as his fingers wind through her hair and she opens her mouth feeling an ache of desire swell inside her. She wants to fill it with every part of him and clasps his lapels reluctantly breaking the kiss to make sure it's what he wants too. Not just sex but the whole thing, _everything_. "Are you sure about this?"

"Just tell me we can figure this out-" he exhales holding her gaze, "you, me... _us._ I want to try. I want it to work."

"You won't lose me." She says softly, trusting in them like he's preparing to. After all, it's not like they're going in blind. Their history holds a lot of weight and nothing's been able to drive them apart so far. They'll find their way through the rest together.

" _Good_." A smile attaches to his lips, washing over his fear as he leans in to kiss her again-

"Halle-fucking-lujah!"

The shout comes from the greenery behind them and he pulls back sharply as Mike and Rachel make a mad dash from the bushes.

"I'm going to kill him!" He tears back but stops at the sudden tug on his arm.

"Easy tiger." Her mouth curves with amusement, "wouldn't you rather save some of that energy?"

She raises an eyebrow and he feels a calmness settle over him. All of a sudden he's standing outside her door thirteen years ago and she's showing him the whipped cream only this time it's more than just one night. He gets to enjoy her for as long as they both can stand it and he helps her up, making a grab for her shoes. "I'm going to kill both of them, _after_."

She keeps their fingers entwined, a smile lighting her face and he quickly succumbs to the amusement feeling it wind in his chest. This is it for him. He doesn't want anything else and he tugs her closer making sure she knows it. "What are we waiting for?"

She already has the keycard in her hand and holds it up with a grin. "For you to figure out it's time to go upstairs."


	3. Chapter 3

Harvey rolls over in bed away from the blinding light and incessant buzzing of his phone, curling into the warm body beside him. He isn't ready to face anyone yet just wants to bask in the post-coital ache of his muscles and the warm smile on Donna's face when he blinks his eyes open. His lips mimic hers and he grins sliding his hands down her back and tugging her closer.

She palms his chest as she hooks her leg over his, blushing at the arousal pressing against her thigh. "You can't possibly want-"

"You?" He murmurs at the hollow of her neck, " _always..."_

She laughs, shivering as he lavishes kisses over her skin but she lets out a groan when his phone vibrates again. It's starting to become an annoyance and she exhales roughly, trying to ignore his hand as it moves down to caress her hip. "Harvey... it could be important."

"It's not." He affirms, making no attempt to separate them but she grasps his wrist lightly, a playful smirk crossing her lips.

"We have to deal with them sooner or later." She points out watching him drop his head back with a frustrated huff. In fairness he's the one who's been getting shit from Mike for the last nine years but she glides her fingers over his bare chest in an attempt to persuade him. "How bad can it really be?"

"Mike gloating..." he mutters begrudgingly, "I'd say worse than bad."

The buzz sounds again and he lets out a growl rolling to read the display filled with notifications.

 **Unread**

[ _Didn't think you could go this long *eggplant emoji*_ ]

 **Unread**

[ _You guys coming up for air?_ ]

 **Unread**

[ _Rach wants to know if you're coming down for lunch?_ ]

 **Unread**

[ _Seriously, you didn't put you're back out did you old man?_ ]

 **Unread**

[ _Twenty minutes and we're going to send a search_ _up to find_... **more]**

Harvey throws the device down on the bed with an exasperated sigh but his annoyance wavers as the sheet slides off him collecting around Donna's naked form. His gaze lingers, taking in every detail, and he smiles when she turns her head back to him.

" _What_?" She fixes him with a look, her eyes unintentionally travelling down and blushing at his attentiveness. It's hard to believe he managed to keep himself restrained for thirteen years and her mouth twitches as he props up his elbow.

"You're gorgeous, you know that?" He doesn't bother hiding his appreciation letting it literally hang between them and watching with amusement as she bites her lip suppressing a grin.

"I did, three engagements remember?" She teases, trying not to let the warmth in his expression entice her back into the bed. If she gives in now they'll never make it downstairs and then they'll have an entourage knocking at their door.

"Well I'm glad none of them worked out."

He says it half-seriously and her eyes soften in response. "For the record, so am I." It falls gently and she can feel herself wavering, forcing herself up and taking the sheet with her. "Come on-" she pats the edge of the mattress with a grin, "get that pretty ass of yours out of bed."

He feigns a look of disapproval rolling onto his back with a sigh. "If I'd known you were going to be this bossy-"

"Thirteenth years mister," she hikes up a playful eyebrow, "can't tell me you didn't know."

A chuckle catches in his throat as she sashays passed into the bathroom and he has no intention of moving until she sticks her head out. "Waiting for something?" She drops the sheet and her naked body drives him up, a grin spreading over his lips as moves to join her. They've both done plenty of waiting.

From now on his motivation is going to be making up for lost time.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

* * *

By the time they find their way down to the pool area it's mid-afternoon and Harvey keeps a respectable distance as they near Mike, Rachel and Jessica lounging in the sun. Not that it makes a damn bit of difference. The two tanned women at least try to feign some diplomacy but Mike's shit eating says it all and he shoots the kid a glare instinctively finding the small of Donna's back as they stop.

Mike smirks over the top of his book. "Good night?"

Rachel slaps him, deliberately aiming for the sunburn on his chest, and ignores the protest he muffles in response. She's dying to find out everything but takes a more subtle approach raising an eyebrow at her best friend who merely shrugs with a coy smile.

"I might go for a swim." Donna steers away from the obvious, finding Harvey's hand and giving it a tug. "Want to join me?"

"Is that even a question?" He replies, the mischievous glint in his eye making her blush. He can't help it. In the past twenty-four hours it's steadily become his new favourite hobby and he moves to follow her when Jessica sits up suddenly, lips poised with a relaxed smile.

"It's about damn time you two."

She winks chuckling at Mike's "here, here" beside her and watches with amusement as they _both_ turn the colour of Donna's hair. Seeing Harvey embarrassed is a feat worth savouring but she gives him a reprieve and doesn't say anything else, genuinely happy for the pair.

Harvey ducks his head away from the attention and ushers Donna forward keeping their hands entwined. When they get back to the city they'll have to be more careful about public displays, especially in the office, but here there's no reason to hide and he slips his arms fully around her waist as they near the edge of the pool.

"You know, the quicker you get in the less cold it will be..." he mummers into ear, feeling her start to squirm in his tight hold.

"Harvey, _no_... don't even think about-"

She let's out a shriek as he pushes her over the side and she lands with a splash, coming up with a gasp in time to see Rachel sneaking with a finger to her mouth. Donna keeps her eyes on Harvey, her mouth twitching when the brunette gives him a quick hard shove and the look on his face just before he topples is priceless. She bursts out laughing and Rachel gives a candid wave calling out over the pool. "You owe me details for that!"

Harvey surfaces spluttering and glares at the amusement still gleaming in Donna's gaze. "Oh, you think that's funny do you?" He swims to where she's treading water and attacks her waist with grin, waiting for her breathless surrender before pulling her flush against his chest to keep them both a float. "Not so funny now, huh?"

"You _did_ deserve it." She points out smugly, catching her breath and kissing the droplets of water from his mouth. He hoists her up in response and she wraps her legs around his hips as he carries her into the shallower end pressing up against the side of the pool.

Her hands settle against his front and he smirks taking in the feel of her body sat snugly around him. If they were in a more private location he would take full advantage of their weightlessness but he can practically feel Mikes gaze boring into them and he shakes the water out of his ear rolling his eyes. "I want to trade, Rachel for Mike. You can keep Louis."

Amusement spreads across her face and her mouth curves in a grin. "If you wanted someone to defend your honour you should have played nicer with the pup." He huffs but there's no real annoyance and she winds her arms round his neck locking them in place. "Besides you really want to spend the next hour gossiping over cocktails?"

"Depend what you're gossiping about?" He raises a mischievous eyebrow pressing his lips beneath her ear, "if it's how good I was last night, I'm sure I can contribute some notes."

She laughs at his unashamed ego, feeling his tongue brush the hollow of her neck and she hums a murmur as he slides his hands down to her thighs readjusting her weight against him. She runs her fingers through his hair in response, letting out a sigh when pulls back with humour in his gaze. "See what we could be doing instead."

She shakes her head feigning a smirk. "You're incorrigible."

"Only around you babe." He flashes a grin prompting her to immediately questions the name.

" _Babe_?"

"Gorgeous?" He suggests, winding his arms around her with a light squeeze. He's never been one for endearments except to throw them about casually but the way her cheeks flush at the term makes him think it might stick after all.

"Whatever you say, _pretty_." She winks teasing him back but catches Rachel pointedly tapping her watch over his shoulder and she unlocks her fingers trailing them down the front of his chest. "We have an audience." She whispers, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. "Think you can keep yourself amused for an hour?"

"I can but it won't be as fun without you." He hikes up an eyebrow, bringing his hands round to her waist and skating his thumbs over her hips. "Think you can handle missing out?"

She collects them, holding him still against her stomach as a deterrent. "I'll find a way to manage."

He pouts but she doesn't release her grip and he brushes his mouth over hers tugging at her lower lip. She grins into the kiss, slowly disentangling herself and making smalls waves in the water as she reluctantly breaks the contact. "Why don't you go for a beer with Mike, throw the poor pup a bone?"

He rolls his eyes glancing at the lawyer who isn't even feigning interest in his book anymore. He highly doubts he'll make it through one drink but she's right. He probably owes the kid something and swims after her towards the ladder feeling the warmth of the sun soak into his skin as he follows her up.

They both reach for a towel to dry the off the excess water and he meets Mike's expectant gaze with a pointed look. "One word, you're in the pool next. Let's go."

Mike closes his book so fast it lands on the ground with a thud and Rachel picks it up tossing it the lounger as her husband trails behind Harvey, his words making her grin.

 _"So... should we start with, 'hey Mike, you were right this whole time' or just skip straight into the apology?"_

"Well, it was nice having a husband..." Rachel shrugs at Donna and Jessica, "we had a good run."

A laugh catches in Donna's throat as she prepares herself for her turn. Something tells her they're going to be a lot longer than an hour but for a story thirteen years in the making it deserves to be told properly and with a _lot_ of tequila.

She just hopes Mike survives long enough to get the cliff notes version.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

* * *

 **AN:** I think I'm going to have to leave this one here for now. It feels like a good place to stop so I can work on some of my other stories :) Thank you for all the lovely and encouraging reviews! xx


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